Dr. & Mrs Michael N. Smith Sr.: To blessed to be stressed"

Philippians 2:5

The subject of anxiety is one that is as complex as individuals themselves, and one that often demands professional help and advice. However, there is undoubtedly a link between many cases of anxiety and stress, and in the modern world, self inflicted stress is a common place.

Many people undoubtedly do put unnecessary pressures on themselves, get their own lives out of perspective, and see things as stressful that should not be for somebody who is confident in themselves.Some causes of anxiety are controllable. Genetic causes and environmental upbringing are things that cannot be changed, only adjusted to as best as possible. However, some causes of anxiety are controllable by an individual, and to any extent they are not controlled, the anxiety is self inflicted. That is not to say you should criticise yourself, rather to acknowledge the reality that there are some aspects of anxiety you can influence, and can therefore assert yourself over them and control them Anxiety can bring with it a feeling of uselessness, that there is nothing much you can do to improve things for yourself. Once you are aware that you can do something about it yourself, then there is a good chance you will. So the awareness itself is a key step to reducing your own anxiety. What type of causes of anxiety can you look out for and cope with yourself? Much of today's anxiety is caused by lifestyle factors and stress overload. This is under your control much more than you think. Much too also comes from negative thought processes, so training yourself in positive thinking (Romans 12:2) and making daily practical use of it can help get your started in reducing your worries and thus anxiousness. By recognizing there are stress factors in your life that you have some control over (such as finances, envy of neighbors and their new car, and that dreadful job you should have left years ago), then you can focus on doing something about them. Once recognized, picking them off one at a time will encourage you to do more in those areas of your life that may cause or add to your anxiousness.

Beating the

"What-If" Blues

Do you find that a lot of your negative thoughts begin with the words "What-if?" Does one anxious thought lead to another and another - only to become a negative spiral of worry? When this happens, you're probably using what-if thinking.

WHAT IS

"WHAT-IF" THINKING?

What-if thinking occurs when you make negative predictions about the future, usually starting with the words "What if?" Most of us can relate to Juan's story of what-if thinking. Juan is running a few minutes late to work. The first thought that pops into his head is: "What if I'm late for my nine o' clock meeting?"

But his thoughts don't stop there.

His negative thoughts start snowballing. "What if I walk in late and everyone looks at me? What if I get nervous, start sweating, and feel embarrassed? What if my boss notices I can't handle it and I lose my job? What if I can't afford to feed my family?"

His body responds with a host of symptoms - his heart races, it's tough to breathe, and there's a knot in his stomach the size of Texas.

As you can see, when you use what-if thinking, one negative prediction usually leads to another, and another, and another. This negative chain has a snowball effect that leads to intense feelings of anxiety, loss of control, and physical symptoms.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Studies show that you have the power to change your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you create biochemical changes in your brain that affect how your body and mind feel and react. In other words, change your thoughts and you change your reality!

How do you change your what-if thoughts? You do this by using the three "R"s - Recognize, Replace, and Reinforce.

1) RECOGNIZE.
Each time you notice yourself thinking a what-if thought, write it down. Writing things down helps you to slow down and expose negative thoughts to the light of day. If you don't take the time to write down your what-if thoughts, it's easy to miss them because you are so used to them.

It's time to peel off the layers of negative thoughts and reach the root of what is causing your negative belief. Here's how it works. When you are in a fairly relaxed mood, take out a pad and open it up to the first what-if thought. Read the thought outloud and then ask yourself: "And what if that did happen? Then what would happen?" Write down your answer. Repeat this process of digging deeper several times, each time asking "And what if that did happen? Then what would happen?" and writing down your answer.
Remember your problem is your solution, and your solution is your problem

After several layers of negative thoughts are removed you will reach the core belief - the belief that is at the root of your fears. "If I can't feed my family, my wife and kids will be disappointed in me. They'll leave me and I'll be all alone." The real fear - is what is driving his what-if thoughts - is his fear of being rejected, unloved, and all alone if he disappoints the people he loves. That's the belief that we entertain but this needs to be removed in order to beat the what-if blues. His worry about arriving a few minutes late to the meeting will fade once he addresses this core issue.

2) REPLACE.
Once you've pinpointed the core to your negative belief, decide what your new belief will be. Make the changes to the old belief so that it unveils and promotes your well being and reflects the reality you want to create. When creating your new belief, make sure to:

-- use the present tense

-- use "I statements"
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

-- focus on what you want (not what you don't want)
"REMEMBER FOCUS CREATES BLINDNESS"

In this case, here are several new beliefs you may want to use to replace the virus of negative belief:

-- "I am worthy of love, even through disappointment."

-- "I am loved for who I am, not how much I earn. I love my family and we will get through life's challenges together."

-- " I am human and I will disappoint the people I love. I can be imperfect and still receive love."

When you notice yourself using a what-if thought, stop it in its tracks. It may help to visualize the word "No" or "Stop" in big red letters in your mind. This action interrupts the thought. Then immediately change your focus by replacing the what-if thought with the new, healthier thought you created.

3) REINFORCE.
Once you have chosen your new belief, reinforce it several times a day. Say the new belief with feeling. Believe that it is true, even if only for a moment. Think it. Say it aloud. Write it down. You can even record yourself saying the belief for several minutes and then play it back every night just as you're drifting off to sleep. Just like any other habit, the more you practice, the sooner it will become second nature to you.

Making the new belief a part of your life takes time and consistent practice, but the results are worth it. You chase away the what-if blues and the physical symptoms that go along with it. And even better, you change the way you look at life!